I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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