You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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