The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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