Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize