marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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