she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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