so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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