Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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