I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
there is glitter all over my balls
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
