You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Randomize
