what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
