Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
