y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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