Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
