I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'm always down for nudity.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
