I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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