Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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