Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
