Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize