This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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