He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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