Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
