I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
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True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
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I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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