I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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