When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
