Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
