It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
