I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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