you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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