Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Princesses don't give blow jobs
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
