He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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