I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
