That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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