someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize