We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
