How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
