how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
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Do I have a choice?
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Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
