Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I think I just sharted jello shots
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