All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
this just has baby written all over it
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
