Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
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