Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
dude. I can hear the air.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
