porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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