JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
