This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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