She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to sanitize my soul.
The struggles of a small town man whore
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize