Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize