Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
