Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(505): View more from New Mexico

I thought you said his peep was too small

(1-505): View more from New Mexico

it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.

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(847): View more from Illinois

Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?

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(361): View more from Texas

When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard

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(850): View more from Florida

The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.

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25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Read it at the TFLN blog
(740): View more from Ohio

He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.

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(618): View more from Illinois

Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays

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(404): View more from Georgia

I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair

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