with your own penis?
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.