My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
either way he was missing a nipple.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT