Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!