There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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