nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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