My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
