he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
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the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
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I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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