I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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