Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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