Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
