Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
