dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
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looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
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I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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