The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
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I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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