Small penises have feelings too.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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